Naughty Jokes

A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. in front of him he see's a big jar full of 5's and a little card it reads:
Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5
So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. 2 minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor.So the guy takes the money and leaves.
THE NEXT DAY:
The same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. $10
So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. 4 minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"
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Picking Up Nun's
A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a Nun in the front seat. The Hippie looks over and asks the Nun if she would have sex with him.
The Nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets of at the next stop.
When the bus starts on it's way the bus driver says to the hippie, "if you want I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says that he'd love to know so the bus driver tells him that the every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," said the bus driver(male), "you could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
Well the Hippie decides to try this out so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun and right on schedule the nun shows up. When she's in the middle of praying the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first."
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about to go to work on the nun. After the Hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie!!"
The nun replied by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!!!"